Just kidding. But it’s true we changed domiciles over the years until finally we decided we would remain in Portugal. It was in Zambujal that we had our belongings in storage in the States sent to us. It was time to own a home. The following are lessons we learned along the way. While some tips can be applied to renting anywhere, some involve situations peculiar to our adopted home country.

1. Location, location, location. For us, this phrase does not refer to a sea or mountain view, or access to great shopping and restaurants. It’s about protecting ourselves from the often insane level of barking found in so many areas in Portugal. In Zambuja we had a canine voice on an outdoor balcony next door going full bore every night at three a.m., and in Mafra, two big guys directly across the street began barking every time we opened our front door. When we purchased, we made sure to buy in central Portugal, “where Judas lost his boots” as the expression goes here - in the middle of nowhere.

2. Don’t count on a seamless escritura. We had all our documents in order on the day of the closing on our purchase. All of us had assembled in Mafra, ready to read, sign, and initial endless pages, when it was discovered that the seller lacked an essential document and needed to go to Lisbon to get it. What to do? This is Portugal. My husband and I simply went with our real estate agent and attorney for a three-hour lunch until we could resume proceedings.


3. Expect to find surprises. The outside of our new home was a bit rough-looking. The pool was half-filled with lime green water, and the sagging vineyard looked like a flock of ravaging crows had taken possession years ago. We knew there was work to do. But the inside was super. It was super, that is, until we began to make some kitchen upgrades and discovered a tremendous amount of mold lurking in the appliances and behind them, on the walls. My husband ripped everything out, discarded the stove and sink, ordered a spectacular Villeroy and Boch farmhouse sink, and bought wood to build new cabinets. Result? We spent our years there using a toaster oven, portable induction cooktop, and the sink in the laundry room. Don’t ask.

4. Be open to adding on. One summer afternoon, we were sitting on the patio with my brother and sister-in-law, who were visiting from New Mexico. A young couple strolled up the steep driveway and approached us. This just didn’t happen in our isolated area. (See Point Number 1.) One of them had inherited the ruina at the bottom of the hill, on the other side of the stone wall from us. They wanted to sell. Fearing that someone with a pet who would exercise his vocal cords all night (see Point Number 1) might buy it, we purchased the property. We decided to make up for this unexpected expenditure by gutting and completely renovating it (staying within the footprint). We would go into the turismo rural business! Actually, no. We sold it to a friendly French woman who looked a bit like an aging Brigitte Bardot. She owned cats.

Credits: Supplied Image; Author: Tricia Pimental; Keith at work at our first Vindima

5. Make the most of the land. If you have fruit trees or a vegetable garden, cultivate them. We were amazed at what we accomplished with our vineyard by the second year at the quinta, which I mentioned in this article a couple of years ago. Remember that property lines can be strange due to the common practice of divvying up land for various family members so that each has their own piece of the pie. So make sure it’s yours before you start picking or planting.

6. Be prepared to meet your neighbors. Our nearest one was a shepherdess and we happily permitted her flock of sheep to graze on our acreage. Peaceful pastoral scenes, and less work for my husband on the tractor. Neighbors we didn’t appreciate were locals who raced motorcycles in the empty dirt lot directly behind and above our home. Owned by the local futebol club, it was never used by them, and so many Sunday afternoons became a free-for-all. (So much for Point Number 1.)

7. Participate in community activities. We lived close to Alpedrinha, and one year I joined in the annual Chocolhas Festival. It was an amazing walk with sheep and shepherds, and I felt immensely connected to my community.

I wish you everything good wherever you rent or own, and a rainbow to tie it all up. A pot of gold would be nice, too.